One of my whole missions since I started my advocacy was to someday create worldwide acceptance for people with autism and all disabilities. We’ve made a lot of progress over the past several years, but there is still a lot of work to do. Matthew’s Autism Journey has touched the lives of millions of people […]Those with autism deserve acceptance — Matthew Boux- Advocate, Speaker, and Blogger
It does surprise me how well Michael’s Summary of the year here Aotearoa New Zealand matches my feelings even though I’m a whole generation older. So rather than try to re-invent the wheel, I invite my readers to read his post.
Oh, and Michael, keep blogging. You really have been conspicuous by your absence over recent months.
While I have been conspicuous by my absence, New Zealand has been conspicuous for all the wrong reasons. New Zealand is the place I call home. It is my country of birth, the place where my wife was born and the birthplace of my children. In my limited time on this planet I have seen […]
I have been taking some sort of medication to cure the symptoms of what would be autism since I was seven. At 34, I now realize the importance of having a good cocktail and being regular with it.
As a child, you do as you are told by your parents or for me there would be serious consequences. Taking my medicine was no different as in my childhood I was on a multitude of medications. However, I have been on the medication regimen I am on today, in part for twenty years now. And for 19 of those years I was pretty regimented unitl a little over a year ago.
I had lived with my parents for a little over 33 years and as such “did as I was told” and did such. Once I moved out, I began to consider as to whether or not I needed medicine.
So I started experimenting mainly because I had to know was the medicine important or a waste as a part of me adulting.
I spent many sleepless nights wondering that, I was in denial. My parents knew, those close to me knew, but they did’nt tell me.
I would lash out a people for no apparent reason, I would be nasty to people, My manias would appear off and on again and again but yet I was in denial.
I thinking I had an over abundance of meds and no clear mind decided to take them to a drop off box at the local police station. Weeks later I told my mom this and she was very disgusted to the point she hung up the phone and would talk to me for a few hours.
Nonetheless, I continued down the slippery slope for a few months, the symptoms became more and more appearant even to my therapist who came to the conclusion that this wasnt working, and on September 12 this year, I began a normal regimen – sort of.
I knew I was getting bad because I stay up all night, go to work and come home and sleep for hours and do it all over again. My superiors at work were worried about my mental health as during that relapse they said I was a little animated and asked if everything was ok. I denied it.
I became manic, and as such I was hypersexual, the mania symptom that no one wants to talk about. When I was visiting my dad when he was in the hospital I called the Hallway ad male organ and other not so nice names. Now looking back as I was trying to find my individuality, I thought I couldn’t have medicine to be me. I have learned that adequate balance is everything.
I now realize that it was stupid as working for a mental health advovacy organization that it wasnt the right thing to do or example to lead. But the trust kept coming back.
The day following that realization, a support at the place I recieve job coaching came to me and noticed the change. I told her I was working on it. Eight days later we went on a outing where I was photo bombed and she said that you couldn’t wipe that smile off my face.
A little over a month after that, I changed my PCP or family doctor and was reecucated about my physical meds and as such I have had everything back in sync for some time now and feel amazing.
It just goes to show you how importatant medicine is and what it can do to keep you well!
Today, December 14 is a whirlwind of a day for me. First and foremost forty years ago my parents would say the sacred vows of marriage late in the day in a western Maryland Courthouse. I would be concieved five years later and almost 15 years after that would be the breaking point of their marriage that would cause them a brief separation.
My mother worked 12 hour shifts in a glass factory, my dad worked on the local street crew and things wernt all sunshine and rainbows as I had experienced five psychiatric hospitalizations in 9 months, requiring my mother to have FMLA leave as a result of me being in and out of the hospital until I was placed in a RTF at which point my parents had differrences on what my future would entail. My father, nine years older than my mom said that they needed to take care of me after being released while my mother was at her wits end.
I couldnt blame my mother. I was very abusive with my mother in fists of rage for several decades until even earlier this decade. Ive had many close calls with being in police custody, however my dad was always to the rescue and he is of a gruff man sometimes and as I was improving and ready to be reunited with my family, he was having severe issues at his job that forced him to retire early, then he had cancer and was laid up for some time, but my parents reunited their spark in their relationship and reunited back in the house they built.
As time for me continued I would have episodes, mostly with them, however my dad, even though I never showed my gratitude was always to the rescue of me lashing out, oftentimes against my mother because I knew I could, but that doesnt in any way make it right. I owe her a lot of credit for not giving up on me for that.
In retrospect seven years ago on December 14, 2012, I would come home from work to my parents house and see every national TV station showing footage from an elementary school in New England where over twenty six were killed. Later that day, it was discovered that the son of the teacher was the shooter and was on the autism spectrum.
Two days later, my sister shared a article on Facebook entitled “I am Adam Lanza’s Mother – Please Read” where a journalist shared the struggles I experienced some 15 years later. This made a light bulb in me turn on that I needed to share my story and so I did. There are several other mass shooters that are on the spectruum and in reality they just need some guidance, because when I was thinkinng of Adam and the other ones that could have used the guidance that I did some twenty years ago and still today.
Continuing to receive that guidance, that point I graduated community college where I was at the top of my program that year, became part of the honor society and in recent years, moved out on my own, got a drivers license and still have a job while just keeping busy.
In closing, this is my parents 40th wedding anniversary and they for the first time in 32 years dont have to worry about me because I am all right and can take care of myself. I am very grateful for my parents more than anyone will ever know because they have molded me and my sister into great adults and while they may not always agree with our decisions they are always here for us.